The Juggling Act

I am now working on a second Master’s degree and have also decided to stop taking Adderall. I’m still teaching full-time at a Title I school, and yes, I still have two wild boys under five. I also tutor a girl once a week in reading. My husband is a CPA. During several months of the year, he has deadlines. He works 6 or 7 days per week. So, a lot of the time, I’m on my own with the boys. Will I have a meltdown at some point? OH, YEAH. But I’ll survive and make it through.

I was talking to some colleagues at lunch a few weeks ago. One of them looked at me and said, “How do you have time for all these things? I’m single with no kids, and I don’t have time for it.” This is not the first time I’ve ever gotten this question. I’ve also never had a real answer for anyone. Yesterday, I monitored my day and figured out what I was doing to help me be successful. I should clarify, I was successful yesterday. Not every day is flawless and without tears or stress.

Strategies for Survival (and Success)

• I use a planner and have multiple calendars. Sometimes, writing things down for me is enough to ingrain due dates in my brain. I don’t always reference back to them. Things are color-coded by class/life/work. Just so it’s a quick glance at my week. For example, this week I have a project due on Sunday. I wrote it on Monday and on the due date. I know I need to be carving out time for it all week.
• I use an undated planner when I ditch the setup but want to return to it later. That’s ADHD for you 🙂
• I maximize my time when I can. There is no time for scrolling in these busy or downright chaotic moments of my life. I forgot I even have a phone (sorry for the unanswered texts). Yesterday (Saturday for context), I took the boys to visit my mom. When we got home, my 18-month-old went down for a nap. My oldest got tablet time, and I sat at the kitchen table and worked on some reading and assignments. I get as much done as I can before my almost 5-year-old gets bored with screen time. Yes, screen time is a survival tactic here and I feel no shame.
• I focus a few hours of activities on the weekends for the kids. We go to the park, lake, zoo, museum, etc. That way, when we get home, I feel slightly less guilty about doing homework.
• I meal prep as much as I can. Overnight oats are my best friend, pasta and chicken for lunches, and then whatever else for dinner. A lot of protein shakes, yogurts, and crackers. Less brain power on planning food.
• I wake up early, like 4:30, which has been the norm. That way, depending on the day, I can either work out or do homework. Did this backfire last week? 100%. Not because I didn’t wake up. It was because my 18-month-old knew I was waking up this early. No matter how quiet I was, my child was waking up at the same time or earlier.
• I go to bed early. As soon as the kids are asleep, I’m usually behind them. Again, this does depend on them falling asleep when they are supposed to and not fighting me. Some days are better than others.

Lessons Learned

I’m not always getting this right, and I’m not always successful. I cry, and I sometimes lose my shit with the kids. I get overstimulated and overwhelmed. But when I enjoy what I’m learning about or what I’m working towards, it makes it that much easier.

I enjoy learning, so going to school or getting random certificates is fun for me. That may not be the case for you. The point is, if you find something you enjoy or are excited about, you can make time for it. There are ways to integrate it into your schedule. There are moments when you will fall apart, and there are moments when you will want to quit. Whatever you accomplish, though, it will be something to be proud of.