The fact that I have been MIA from writing a blog about ADHD is pretty par for the course. Plus with work and everything else life has been a little wild. But, it’s summer break and I’m back baby!

I was thinking a lot about the idea of invalidation and my journey with ADHD. A lot of people instantly think “oh you just wanted the adderall huh?” or “You’re too high functioning to have ADHD” or my favorite “Don’t we all have ADHD?” The answer is no, no, and more no.

People have no idea how much masking I have done. It has been exhausting to get to where I am. Just today, I was reading a novel for the first time since I’ve had kids. I thought nothing of it, but I was invested and reading even with the kids talking and the TV on. Then it dawned on me. Reading used to be incredibly difficult for me. I needed complete silence to read. When I was single and lived alone this was no problem. Now, with kids and a husband who loves having some kind of noise on, it has been impossible. I had taken my Adderall early on and was reading with all the chaos and enjoying it. I now have the ability to READ something people just take for granted.

When I was kid I remember being given a hard time for not reading enough. I liked reading when I could find a book that grabbed me. However, I also remember the stomachache that was always present when I tried to read sometimes. The same stomachache that would show up when I did homework. People who don’t have ADHD will never know what that feeling is.

The Weight of Being Dismissed

When people question or dismiss an official ADHD diagnosis, it can make you second-guess yourself. I remember after my own diagnosis. I spent weeks wondering if I was just making excuses for being forgetful. I wondered if I was just scattered. It’s easy to fall into a cycle of self-doubt, trying to “push through” or overcompensate without seeking actual support.

Over time, this invalidation can have a real impact. Here’s how:

• Self-esteem can plummet. If close friends, family, or even healthcare professionals deny your experiences, you begin to question whether your struggles are legitimate.
• Delay in seeking help or using strategies. If you start to believe the people who dismiss you, it can feel selfish. It may seem “dramatic” to invest time in learning management strategies or joining a support group. However, evidence shows these efforts make a difference.
• Isolation and loneliness. Many of us end up closing off, worried that no one will understand what we’re going through. Ironically, this can make the symptoms of ADHD even harder to manage.
• Emotional drain. Constantly defending your experiences is exhausting. It takes energy away from actually managing tasks, focusing, or finding balance.

Why Evidence-Based Support Matters

The science behind ADHD is very real. Studies show structural and chemical differences in the brains of people with ADHD. This isn’t just a “trend” diagnosis, and the impact of untreated ADHD—on relationships, work, and mental health—is well documented.

Community support and evidence-based strategies can be game-changers. e. These spaces aren’t just supportive; they’re full of practical resources and peer-tested tools. Suddenly, I had actionable steps and real hope.

You’re not alone if you’re navigating a new diagnosis. Living with symptoms and doubting yourself because of what others say can be challenging. Seeking out communities and professional guidance is not only valid, it’s empowering.

Practical Strategies for Reclaiming Confidence

Here are a few things that have helped me (and countless others) after hearing those invalidating comments:

• Find your people. Online forums, support groups, or local meetups can help you connect with others who “get it.”
• Educate (when you have the energy). Sometimes sharing articles or studies with doubters helps start a conversation, though it’s not your responsibility to convince everyone.
• Keep a symptom journal. Writing down your challenges and wins reminds you that your experiences are real and worthy of support.
• Invest in evidence-based tools. Time management apps, mindfulness techniques, or routines tested by the community can be helpful. Finding strategies that work for you is key.
• Celebrate progress. Small victories matter. Like being able to sit down and read a book (thank you Adderall)

You Deserve Support and Understanding

If you’ve felt dismissed or invalidated, know that your struggles are valid and your need for support is real. There are evidence-backed tools and a whole community ready to rally around you. Sharing your story, seeking help, and prioritizing your well-being aren’t signs of weakness; they’re proof of your resilience.

Together, we can create spaces where every experience with ADHD is honored and supported. If you’re looking for resources or simply a place to start, our community forum is open to all. Empower your journey, and remember, you’re never alone in this.